Certified
List of
Demands
what does bae never do? file the paperwork.
type 4–6 petty things your partner (or bestie) never does for you. we'll sing them back as a Certified List of Demands — a numbered tracklist that starts fair (“you never text me back”) and ends somewhere over international waters (“you never take me to Bangladesh”). screenshot it. tag the offender. they'll know.
from the vault
Certified List of Demands
The Classic EditionNo. 0605-BAE
01you never text me back
04and you never remember my coffee order well enough to bring it to me in Bangladesh
it's like you don't care.
Certified List of Demands
Player Two EditionNo. 0714-P2
01you never text back mid-raid
04and you never once logged off reality long enough to tunnel through the map and rescue me
it's like you don't care, GG.
Certified List of Demands
Long-Distance EditionNo. 0714-LDR
01you always fall asleep on FaceTime mid-sentence
04and you never close the 4,000 miles by tunneling through the earth's core to me
it's like you don't care, long distance.
one prompt. one card. one offender.